It is believed that the average person has between 12000 and 60000 thoughts a day. That is a lot of thinking!
The number of thoughts we have is however not a problem. What does become a problem is when we over-identify with our thoughts and see our thoughts as reality.
Psychologists refer to this as ‘cognitive fusion’: when our ruminations, worries and judgements go unchallenged and we accept them as accurate depictions of how we, our lives and the world really are.
The truth is that our thoughts are not fact – they are merely opinions based on our past experiences and knowledge. They’re not reality, not the way things ‘really’ are, and most importantly, our thoughts are not who we are.
When we are ‘fused’ with our thoughts, our thoughts are in control – not only of what we say and do, but also of how we feel. They affect our neuro-chemistry and can lead to negative mood states and tension in our bodies.
It’s helpful also to think of our thoughts as a waterfall. We can either stand under the waterfall and be swept along with the masses of water. Or we can take a few steps back, looking at it and feeling the power of our thoughts, but not be swept along with it.
Cognitive ‘de-fusion’:
Next time when you notice yourself having a strong emotional reaction, take a moment and turn your attention to your thoughts.
- Ask yourself, “What am I thinking? What is the story I am telling myself in this moment?”
- Be curious, and just observe what is there, without judgement. (Imagine yourself standing behind the waterfall.)
- Describe what you are observing. Say to yourself, “I notice that I am thinking….”
Doing this will create distance between you and your thoughts, lessening their hold on you, and help you to connect to the ‘you’ that is so much more than your thoughts.
