'A moment in time that captured me at my weakest but also my strongest.
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💝 Strong through the 18 hours of induced labor barely able to stand, only able to focus on my husband's face and his beautiful encouraging eyes until I couldn't do it any longer and succumbed to an epidural.
💜 Weak from no sleep in the last 31 hours.
💝 Strong from the ecstasy of meeting my daughter for the first time.
💜 Weak after being ripped apart by a big beautiful baby and forceps.
💝 Strong because I had done all I could to bring my husband and I, the daughter we had so desperately hoped for.
💜 Weak because I had "failed" and my birth hadn't gone to "plan".
💝 Strong because I had a new found appreciation for my body.
💜 Weak because I couldn't help but wish to "bounce back".
💝 Strong because I now knew, undeniably, that I was so much stronger than I ever knew.
💜 Weak because I now felt a whole new level of anxiety, blues and mum guilt.
💝 Strong because I would now put my daughters needs above all else.
💜 Weak because I would feel beaten by the 4th trimester in the weeks that followed.
💝 Strong because I picked myself back up after each set back, SPD, diabetes, induction, forceps, episiotomy, diastasis recti, mastitis, pelvic organ prolapse et al.
💜 Weak because I felt guilty for "suffering" when I should feel happy & grateful.
💝 Strong because I accepted, finally, that it's ok to not be ok even in the face of others worse off, we all have our own journeys.
💝 Strong because I had now, a gravitational pull, to share the ups & downs so we can normalize the normal, the imperfectly perfect journeys, we all take.
💜 Weak because my heart now knows if I struggled in all my privilege (white, middle class, educated), how do those that don't have my privilege make it through.
💝 Strong because I know that in my small (teeny tiny) little corner of the internet, my words have impacted some & when they reach out to tell me that, it means so much, so I keep going.
💜 Weak because my heart breaks for the women who are yet to know their own strength.
💝 But finally, strong because I have the privilege of raising my daughter into a strong woman.'
@hanfindlay ❤️🙏🏼
HannaH Findlay is a contributing writer for The Motherhood Project. You can read more of her captivating stories and heartfelt messages and images over at :
